Kicking myself out of the Pity-party

Today I was a grouch. Maybe not for the entire day but for a good portion of it. I just have a lot of feelings.....(isn't that a line from Mean Girls? lol. oh great, i'm THAT girl)
Really though, I'm definitely on an emotional roller coaster. One day I'm fine and laughing and joking with everyone, totally oblivious to the fact that my life threw me an unexpected curveball, and then other days, I'm crying inside. Like today. Only today I actually started crying again on the outside. I didn't expect it. I was just walking to class and listening to the Fray as they sang their melodic words in my ears when all of a sudden, bam! No stopping the tears. Well, okay it wasn't craziness or anything. I was still composed and I'm sure not many people that walked past me even knew I was crying. But I was. It didn't last long though, so that's a good sign. I can feel myself slowly coming to terms with my new reality. I'm actually starting to prefer it this way because it takes a lot of pressure off.
I've decided to do something for myself this weekend to cheer myself up. I'm going to go to Barnes and Noble (because I am a gold star member there and get everything practically handed to me) and I'm going to pick myself out a journal. Not just any journal. It's going to be the journal. You know how you're looking for something but you're not quite sure what it is until you find it? That's what buying this journal is going to be like.
See, I've been keeping journals since I was six years old. I love them and own well over 20 by now. But this summer I kind of abandoned my practice for the wonderful world of blogging. Blogger has kind of replaced my written journals and at first I was fine with that fact...welcoming of that fact even because it made getting my thoughts down so much faster and also a lot easier on my hands. But suddenly, I miss it. I feel like a traitor for skipping out on the journaling practice. I didn't even give my journal an excuse..I just walked on out of its life forever. Well, not forever because starting this weekend I'm jumping back on the bandwagon. I'm going to teach myself how to juggle a blog and a journal at the same time. Maybe a lot of you think I'm stupid because it's such an easy task for you, but really it isn't for me. I guess it's because I get overwhelmed after a while if I have too many places that I'm writing down my thoughts. It makes me feel unorganised and it makes it a lot harder for me to search out an entry, memory, dream or what have you..

So that's what I have planned for this weekend aside from my mountainous mound of homework and a four hour long hair appointment on Saturday (no that's not an exaggeration). See, when most girls are upset they buy themselves ice cream, candy, clothing, shoes...anything of that sort, but when I'm upset, the best way to cheer myself up is to hang out in the nearest notebook aisle in a local store and just splurge on notebooks and journals of all sizes and colors. Then, when I think I really deserve to be treated like a princess, I throw a pack of shiny new pens in the cart as well.

Sometimes you just have to treat yourself.